No roads to the castle

“I want to be Divya Bharati!” Yes, I think that was the first time ever I thought about my future and I was five or six years old. By the time I was seven, my dreamed evolved; now I wanted to be Miss Universe. Then an astronaut – Kiran Bedi – a doctor – divorce lawyer (so I could get Shahrukh Khan to divorce Gauri) – Shahrukh’s wife – army officer – a social worker and the list is endless.

Here I am, almost 20 years down the line, and I am still at a loss. The vision of me 10 years from now baffles me; I see a very successful me, who is content, as beautiful and thin as ever, dressed up in sophisticated formals with high heels, holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a phenomenal Fendi bag hanging on the other, talking on phone while parking my very own Phantom. Wow! Do I look astounding or what?

Well, yeah so that’s what I see when I close my eyes and when I open them I see a question staring right into my face – ‘How are you going to get there?’

Lately, I’ve been having doubts regarding my latest ambition of becoming a pilot, because if I am not able to secure any financial grant for it (which is highly likely considering that my grades are not extraordinary) becoming a pilot would only mean starving my family for a whole year after which I can PERHAPS pay them back (you know how the job market is!)

If I decide to go into an engineering firm or sorts, how do I know I won’t want to leave the second day and that I’ll enjoy there? I fear this since I am known for bailing out on things after a few months/weeks/days/hours! Though I have had pretty good reasons for kissing goodbyes to all the things I started, yet it’s difficult to deny my behavior. I wish someone could just come up to me and tell me what path should I choose and I would realize that there’s no better option than that. *Dreamy eyes* I am tired of thinking about the typical ‘What do I wanna be?’ question!

This might sound sadist (which I sometimes tend to be) but I so hope everyone my age is going through the same mind boggling thought!

Oh, and I am also interested in creative fields, but I hardly think I’ll stick to it (or that’s at least what my kin/kith think).

Back with a Bang!

Right, so when I was thinking that I'll write a post which will cover up for all those times that I really wished to write something but I didn't cos I was not in the mood/lazy/din't bother/had too much work/preferred playing cards/was watching some series/..., I came up with like a million thoughts to pen down BUT again I have only 3 mins before I have to leave this room and that my dear friend is not at all enough for a person like me to even summarize an idea in a short para and that is when I usually come up with stupid, terribly long, not-making-too-much-sense sentences like this one!