Blown Away

Yesterday I wished I were Delilah; today I am!

Thanks to Chandrakant =)

(Okay there could not have been a better way of expressing my gratitude, so hopefully you’ll stop grumbling now =p)

I miss my mother today. I miss Mishti (If you do not know who Mishti is you should not be reading this). I miss my dad. Guess sister is the only one I don’t really miss =p (but I love her more than anyone! (Just in case she reads this)). There are tons of things going on in my mind but I can’t put them down here for the sole reason that there are awesome songs playing in the PGP Badminton court (some function going on I think) and they are so loud that I cannot help but feel happy rather than writing my rather sad thoughts.

Life isn’t all that boring even if you are sitting alone in your room for more than nearly 10 hours; thanks to youtube and alluc and of course the DJ downstairs DJ’ing (the only negative side is that the music makes me want to dance!) Well of course, going to the washroom can be a major concern; it takes a lot of effort (Excuse me if I stink). Other necessities are fulfilled; courtesy friends. Not studying is acceptable since I met with an accident and am still in trauma; it’ll take a while to recover =p.

It is sadly amazing how many things can come to a standstill because of a tiny accident.

Clearly Confused!

As I sit in my room after a long day (take note, a long day not a long tiring day), I see a couple of options in front of me:
1. DON'T BE A LAZY BUM and get your ass out of the room and do something consructive (something that does not involve money; which eliminates 90% ideas). Anyway, playing badminton or gyming before stretching (so my stiffness can go away before friday) seems like a perfect plan (BUT it involves forgoing my second option).
2. RELAC LAH! Attended classes. Bought notes. Attempted to creat a funky camera using Solidworks. You need a break before you can start studying (or start watching a movie). Take a nap which according to some is just wasting time but I think there's nothing more constructive than sleeping (ahem, at least when your brain REALLY needs it).
3. GO OUT! Socializing is not non-constructive now?!? Ah, well it involves money then! Sigh!
4. STUDY...ummm...umm..umm...well...from tomorrow! Pucca se!

I so wanna stick with number 2 but I think for a change I'll go with the first one (Yes, I realised I need to shed some Kgs!)

Probation

I’ve put myself at a test. The rules are defined by me; the boundaries are decided by me; penalty is judged by me. No, am not going to cheat (I cant, rather). Just hope I have the heart of stone and a mind of my own through this assessment.

A pass would bring with it confidence and the level of self esteem would go overboard.

A fail would mean I no longer have either determination or self respect.

Starting today; hope it ends forever and leads to a much brighter side of life.

Acclimate or not

To adjust oneself to different conditions is called adaption. But is it always for the better? for the survival?
I have noticed a few changes in me lately. Unaware I was about these alterations until recently i found myself behaving in a way i would never have a few days back. The differences were mammoth-ous for me not to notice. Some were developments in a positive way; others were astonishingly the behavior i demur!
No I am not like any other person who gets influenced by the surroundings (Clarification: By 'surroundings' I might not be referring to my immediate surroundings, so no offense to anyone).
I have done whatever I wanted to all my life, and am not going to succumb that nature to anything. I still would do things which make me happy; whatever the repercussions; whatever the acknowledgment!
No! Adaption is not always for the betterment; it is wholesome only when it is well thought of. And as far as survival is concerned... that is definitely not the need of the hour in my life these days (So the chances of changes 'cos of that are ruled out).
I know tomorrow morning when I wake up it will be the uninflected me, but that is what I pray to God tonight. I would be more independent and invulnerable to the rest of the world then.