Skylark

Something's missing in life! No, it's not love (if that was your first guess). There's plenty of that as of now from everywhere.
Perhaps I HAVE become an adult. As much as i admire being matured and sofisticated, i want to be a child again and want my juvenile years back. It's not that life's stereotyped and there's no fun at present, yet there's something missing. Something that cannot be expressed in words but is tasted by all at one point in time or the other, and it's my time now. But, I will not sit back and feel my mind get restless. I shall go back into time; squeeze the past; grab the childhoodness; and dare to mingle it with adult in me! The child will never die, for she is what we all need (dodo adults conveniently ignore that fact).
Ah, i already feel umm..youthful!
Nah...it's not time for me to grow old now. It's fun and frolic time!

History "Hatched"

Today’s day would be distinguished as the day when Shifali, for the first time, cooked! The food was delicious (I’m sure parents would second the motion). More than proud I was excited. It was enjoyable standing near the gas, everything lined up to be poured into the cooker; vegetables chopped, masalas labeled. So basically, the tough part was already done by others I just had to do the painless. But it’s not that it did not require patience, skill or tolerance (it was pathetically hot in the kitchen!). I’ve “fired” the cook bhaiya, told him “u don’t need to come anymore, this house has found a new and a better cook” =p. (he must be having a ball tonight).

Gym was also entertaining. Few acquaintances here in Jammu, all of them dropped by, in that one hour when I usually don’t want to talk to anyone and work out, but it was pleasant for a change.

I wore the most beastly, nauseating and nasty nail polish today. I guess it was just a reaction to my fantasy of having long nails come true. I was so overly blissfully happy that it hardly mattered when I was applying it. Later, when people commented, either on nails or the color, I felt more stupid than girly!

Mirror Mirror on the Wall....

I wasn’t nervous, neither was I cocksure, I was just..umm...angry. I did not want to take part; I was forced to. I did not want to embarrass myself (guess I didn’t after all). I did not want to walk like a…girl. But all's well that ends well! Am happy now with 3000 bucks of well deserved prize (that’s what everyone said at least) and a trophy in my hands and an ugly looking crown (a hair band rolled with red cloth and “decorated” with golden stars) on my head. I wasn’t really on top of the world but yes, it was..umm..fun! (minus the part where I had to repeatedly recite the words “thank you SO much uncle/aunty” and smile one end to the other to reciprocate theirs; man my jaw was exhausted more than my feet, at least I could remove my heels once I was off the ramp)

P.S.: I thought my answer was horrifying, especially when I heard my voice in an eco. No, no don’t get it wrong. It wasn’t that bad either. (Trust me I did not bribe the judges!!)

P.P.S.: There was a tragedy when my chance of performing came but I shall be shush about it for now. Alright! I guess I DID embarrass myself a bit =p

!@#$!@%#

ALRIGHT!!! ma scolds and screams as well! for NO reason whatsoever!

where it all started and where it will end

‘Mother’, a word around which revolves every child’s life. It means relaxation when you are stressed; it means peace when your mind is wandering; it means company when you are alone; it means love when you feel hated; it means happiness when you are feeling down; it means courage when you are scared; it means support when you fall; it means fun when you are bored; it means fear when you do wrong; it means strength when you are weak; it means everything to a child. It is an answer to every question, yet a question in itself. It is the path to heaven, yet a heaven in itself. It holds your world together and nurtures it every single moment. It has the power to make everything that’s going wrong in your life, right.

God might be the one who created the universe but it was Her who gave us life and more importantly, taught us how to live it. Thanks ma!

wanna bet!?

i would have won this 'bet' even if George Bush had put all his power to stop it from happening! perhaps i understood it better than anyone else did. (this was one of those bets when you wish you would lose but are so sure that you won't and of course, you don't, sadly). but what the heck, bitter win is rare; i should be celebrating instead of mourning. after all win is a win isn't it?

HE has been kind

They have bad dreams, they have bad days, they have bad incidents; I had none in the past few days. Yet mind is wistful, longing for an, yet another, euphoria. And I’ve not reckoned the duty to content my mind on God; it’s my air castle and I’ll frame and shape it myself; with of course just a little contribution from Him; contribution of courage, patience, determination and most importantly the ability with which He has blessed me for 20 years now, the ability to be happy and smile in the toughest of situations. (He has been kind, indeed).

"Mom, I'm home!"

It’s nice to be home. (So what if the home is in Jammu right now, it’s going to shift soon!) Escorts to chauffeur you around, cooks to prepare any dish you appetite for, people to clean the mess you leave behind, et al. Not one command that won’t be obeyed, not one desire that won’t be crowned. In no way am I conveying that these are the only reasons that make me feel nice to be home but it would be bogus to say that they don’t play a role either. How much ever I aspire not to depend on others and do my own work, the perks available are way too tempting.

I wonder at times whether exploiting these resources, readily accessible to you, is right. Perhaps it is. Or at least I have forced my mind to think that way so that I do not feel guilty when I do. Factual it may be that I am not completely dependent on this ‘opulence’ but it certainly is fallacious that I do not enjoy or wish for these facilities in the future.

Whatever the issues are, it’s nice to be home =)

...

Happiness and sadness are two sides of the same coin, indeed! But, for me (at present) it goes this way; the coin has been tossed and is in the air now; making me eagerly wait for the result; for me to be either happy or sad. The outcome will depend; depend on the duration for which the coin is in the air, drag forces that it will face, and believe it or not, it will also depend on whether I want a heads or a tails. At the moment all this makes perfect sense in my life.

Whatever side is on the top does not matter much; be it heads or tails, happiness or sadness. More significant is the way I spend the time while waiting for the coin to land and tell me my fate; fate has not been fated yet and there’s nothing that is in my hands except the time now, which IS in my hands =)

Short Entries?!

Someone said to me “You should write short entries in your blog”. I ask ‘why’.

What are blogs actually for? When I started blogging, I thought I am using some space on the internet to express my views, my thoughts, my experiences; express them to no one but myself. No, I am not claiming that I wished nobody would know about my ‘little secret’, all I’m saying is that I do not expect people to read my blog as an ‘entry’ but as my view, thought or experience. Now, is there any limit for that? Should I not enunciate what I want to thoroughly instead of making it brief so that people will find it interesting to read? Sounds strange to me; as I said earlier I thought blogs were for one’s own self.

Anyway, If writing short entries is the norm then I shall play by the rules. I am not much of a rebel when it comes to matters as trivial as pleasing other people at the cost of almost nothing. But, if and whenever I have something big in my mind I will not be scared to be an insurgent because I still believe that blogs are for one’s own self.