A few days ago, as I sat on the bed watching my grandmother chop the vegetables, I asked her the instigating question – How was your wedding? What followed was an hour, or so it seemed, of stories, gossip and the anticipated ‘those were the days’ dialogue at regular intervals. My fault.
Talk to any grandmom and she’ll echo the same.
Makes you ponder whether the weddings in the good old days really more memorable? Much has changed over the last few decades, including the freedom to choose a partner, but we’ll ignore that for a minute, shall we?
One apparent difference that comes to mind is the duration of wedding celebrations. Back in the time, when the world was not so competitive, when most women were home bound, when distances were traveled on foot, the celebrations would last a minimum of 10-15 days. This was the time when people cared enough. Not only to be part of the celebrations but also to share the responsibilities. This was the time when people suddenly decided to have a sleepover, and it was not frowned upon but welcomed with a genuine smile. This was the time when people took a moment and breathed.
Today, the celebrations spread not over 3 days. The guests are humbly booked a 5-Star hotel for their stay. They wouldn’t expect anything less either. They care enough to be part of the wedding, but maybe not enough to share the responsibilities?
Singing, dancing and more singing dominated practically the entire 15 days of frolic. Dusk to dawn. Dawn to dusk. Women will sing their tradition songs. Tease the bride or the groom. Dance on the beats of dholki. Drink tea after every two hours. Sleep in one room, 20 of them. Wake up the next morning and repeat the routine. The D-day arrives. All rituals are performed in a plain simple manner. Time when bride departs is the only time all had tears in their eyes. This was earlier.
Now, the 15 days of singing, dancing and more singing is compressed into a day of Sangeet. Selected friends and family put up a performance that is followed by drinking and dancing by all close relatives. It falls just a little short of a clubbing night. No one sings, thanks to DJs. Traditional songs are forgotten. The night lasts for as long as the venue is paid for. The guests then head back to their respective 5-Stars. The D-day arrives. Rituals are now performed exuberantly, courtesy Bollywood. Much attention is paid to who’s wearing what, how good are the arrangements and how much would it have cost. The bride happily says her goodbyes.
Receptions are another thing.
During my parents’ reception, they met, socialized and got to know the other’s family. They, till date, have some amazing stories to tell us from that day. Reception meant much more back then.
Today it means a stage. A stage where the couple sits, flashing their smiles as all relatives come up, one by one, and get themselves clicked with the couple. The ones clicking are 5-7 cameramen with bright lights. They, however, do much more than clicking. They embarrass the newly-weds by pressurizing them to make silly poses and hold the pose till the picture is worthy. It’s not a reception anymore, a photo session more like. The only solace is that the temperament of love today still supersedes the melancholy of photo sessions and materialism as a whole.
The weddings today are gaining more popularity. They are loud and seemingly more festive with all the lights and decorations. However, it was the memorable weddings from grandma’s age that gave prefixes like – big fat – to the Indian weddings. What contributed to them becoming famous were the simplicity, care and love of everyone. The impact of it is so deep embedded that it has laid a foundation that would not be forgotten. Not in my lifetime.
Talk to any grandmom and she’ll echo the same.
Makes you ponder whether the weddings in the good old days really more memorable? Much has changed over the last few decades, including the freedom to choose a partner, but we’ll ignore that for a minute, shall we?
One apparent difference that comes to mind is the duration of wedding celebrations. Back in the time, when the world was not so competitive, when most women were home bound, when distances were traveled on foot, the celebrations would last a minimum of 10-15 days. This was the time when people cared enough. Not only to be part of the celebrations but also to share the responsibilities. This was the time when people suddenly decided to have a sleepover, and it was not frowned upon but welcomed with a genuine smile. This was the time when people took a moment and breathed.
Today, the celebrations spread not over 3 days. The guests are humbly booked a 5-Star hotel for their stay. They wouldn’t expect anything less either. They care enough to be part of the wedding, but maybe not enough to share the responsibilities?
Singing, dancing and more singing dominated practically the entire 15 days of frolic. Dusk to dawn. Dawn to dusk. Women will sing their tradition songs. Tease the bride or the groom. Dance on the beats of dholki. Drink tea after every two hours. Sleep in one room, 20 of them. Wake up the next morning and repeat the routine. The D-day arrives. All rituals are performed in a plain simple manner. Time when bride departs is the only time all had tears in their eyes. This was earlier.
Now, the 15 days of singing, dancing and more singing is compressed into a day of Sangeet. Selected friends and family put up a performance that is followed by drinking and dancing by all close relatives. It falls just a little short of a clubbing night. No one sings, thanks to DJs. Traditional songs are forgotten. The night lasts for as long as the venue is paid for. The guests then head back to their respective 5-Stars. The D-day arrives. Rituals are now performed exuberantly, courtesy Bollywood. Much attention is paid to who’s wearing what, how good are the arrangements and how much would it have cost. The bride happily says her goodbyes.
Receptions are another thing.
During my parents’ reception, they met, socialized and got to know the other’s family. They, till date, have some amazing stories to tell us from that day. Reception meant much more back then.
Today it means a stage. A stage where the couple sits, flashing their smiles as all relatives come up, one by one, and get themselves clicked with the couple. The ones clicking are 5-7 cameramen with bright lights. They, however, do much more than clicking. They embarrass the newly-weds by pressurizing them to make silly poses and hold the pose till the picture is worthy. It’s not a reception anymore, a photo session more like. The only solace is that the temperament of love today still supersedes the melancholy of photo sessions and materialism as a whole.
The weddings today are gaining more popularity. They are loud and seemingly more festive with all the lights and decorations. However, it was the memorable weddings from grandma’s age that gave prefixes like – big fat – to the Indian weddings. What contributed to them becoming famous were the simplicity, care and love of everyone. The impact of it is so deep embedded that it has laid a foundation that would not be forgotten. Not in my lifetime.
1 comment:
well, my wedding was preceded by about 7-8 days of "geet". But yeah; I agree... it would have been fun if all the cousins and relatives could have made it for all the days... singing and then falling asleep in one single room. Fighting for the bathrooms in the morning... the chai session would have been fun. I have very vague memories from Deepu Chachu's wedding being like that
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