No comparison

I do things I enjoy doing. I used to study a few years back; even when there was no demand. I used to enjoy sitting in my study room with all the doors between the television room and my study shut so that I could prevent my ears, my brain from the rattle. My parents were not the ones who asked me not to watch my favorite movie or the program I waited for; I just couldn’t convince myself that there was anything more important than studies; not even my best friend’s phone call, not even my crush at my doorsteps…

Not that I was a nerd back then. I used to enjoy life as much; used to go for parties as much; it’s just that book were momentousness in my life.

Things now have moved to the other end of the spectrum. The order of priorities has reversed. Now I don’t make an effort to study (earlier I used to push myself to go out); now I study with loud music (earlier I used to have a problem with my sister humming a song softly); study with people around me (I could only be with a person if I have to clear a doubt); study at any place, room/super snacks/library/geckos (earlier I was even particular about my own chair, when all the chairs in an army house look the same!).

This change has not been for good, to say the least. At least the discipline before was worth it how much ever boring it may sound. There was a sense of satisfaction in class, after exams, after results. Now there’s nothing but “next time I’ll study…” on my mind and lips and regret.

Mind has become too wander-ful. It’s high time I get back on track. Believe it or not, past two days of studies (though little) gave me a feeling comparable to that of three years back; not because I completed a lot of portion but because the way of studying was similar. I am enjoying it now. I hope this stays!